Um, with that title I thought about changing it because I may attract the wrong attention. What can I say, I got your attention, didn't I? Now for the bad news: this isn't anything kinky or dirty, sorry for those that may have been misled.
My husband is very capable of building things, fixing things, you know...all that manly stuff. He is capable and even willing. I have difficulty letting him though.
I am an only child, so my father taught me how to do things that typically a son would learn. Don't get me started on the wrongness of that. My father was in construction before he decided to change careers and become an accountant. I learned electrical, plumbing and carpentry skills when I was willing. (I was a preteen and teenage girl through some of this, so I did miss out on a lot of educational opportunities.)
When it came time for me to drive, he taught me how to change my oil and change my tires. I don't believe my father saw it as "I don't have a son, so I might as well teach her something." I think he taught me in order to share his passions in life and also to prepare me to be independent in my own life.
Now, I am a grown woman who can do most home repairs without consulting anyone. I can build almost anything without consulting instructions...except IKEA, they just don't construct stuff in a normal fashion. Most men would feel emasculated or angry with my ability to be completely independent.
My husband, on the other hand, has no problem with my abilities at all, I think secretly he even likes it. He has one less thing to worry about when he deploys, relieving some of his stress. We have decided on a few things that are his sole duties as a man though.
He decided that he was responsible for checking out noises during the night. Once I hear the strange noise, I am then required to wake him up and point him in the direction of aforementioned noise. I remember the first time I woke him to investigate a noise. I got out of bed with him and began to lead. He actually pushed me back and said, "Dammit, this is one of the jobs I get to do as the man! Now get behind me!"
The second item is specific bug killing. This was my decision, there are just some bugs I cannot deal with. However, we seem to argue most over his spider killing duties. He doesn't like killing spiders. No, he's not afraid of them, he actually likes spiders, "they eat bugs, they are beneficial...blah, blah, blah." I don't like spiders, roaches or silverfish. They are creepy, nasty things and I do not, and never will, welcome them in my house or even immediate vicinity. Spiders are just one of those things that will actually make me scream in terror.
When we first got married we lived in a small apartment. I remember sitting at the computer desk for some reason and something in front of the screen caught my attention. Once my eyes focused, I realized that a large spider had descended from the ceiling, mere inches from my face. I did what any girl would do in this situation, I screamed. He came running into the room with a look of "I'm going to kill someone" on his face. While he's looking around for some intruder, I'm screaming "KILL IT, KILL IT!" and pointing at the computer. He stops, laughs (incidentally not a wise thing to do) and says, "I was starting to wonder if you had any girl issues!"
When it comes to building things, there have been occasions where we argue over who gets to put things together. On some occasions, if we knew there was something that required assembly, he would get home before me in order to put it together. He follows directions, I do my own thing; so working together doesn't always turn out well.
Thankfully we shop at IKEA where a few items have had instructions that require both of us to decipher what in the heck they are saying. In a few years, our house may be entirely furnished with IKEA pieces, however we will have reached a crucial balance in our relationship.
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