Goat on Fire

Conversation I had with my husband on a REALLY long road trip from Missouri to North Dakota. 

Me:  Why is there a fire hydrant on the side of the road?
Him:  I don't know, maybe in case a goat catches fire.

I tried at this moment, to imitate a goat on fire.  My best description of this imitation would be Beavis on sugar, making goat sounds. 

Him:  (He's driving and he turns and just stares at me.  You can do this in NoDak, because the roads are straight...for a long time)
Me:  You said goat didn't you?
Him:  What?
Me:  You said, in case the goat catches on fire?
Him:  ROAD, I said ROAD catches on fire!
Me:  Oh, that makes more sense.

Maybe I should point out that I have issues with drinking too much caffeine and I'm not really supposed to consume sugar.  On one of our fast food stops I ordered a sweet tea, which is like my crack.  So for the first time in months, I drank caffeine and consumed sugar, AT THE SAME TIME.  My energy level could not be contained in our Toyota Camry. 

At one point during the car ride I couldn't think of anything to talk about, and as the navigator it is your sole duty to keep the driver alert.  So I decided to start reading billboards OUT LOUD!  However something strange happens once you cross the South Dakota and NoDak borders, the billboards go away.  It's a big, "please turn around, you've entered the wrong state!"  Without billboards I started reading exit signs, even those became scarce so I read off mile markers. 

I think if my husband would've been a different individual I'd still be walking back to Missouri from that road trip.  He put up with it for quite some time, before he gave me this look and told me in very few words to stop.  That look said a lot of things.  Since I had never gotten that look before, I wisely stopped narrating the road signs and mile markers and sat quietly.  Within minutes I passed out from exhaustion.

Since that day, my husband won't let me near caffeine or sugar without serious discussion.