Bird Wars Pt 2

So it continues...

What is worse than the fear of a pair of doves beating you to death because you destroyed their nest?

Mockingbirds.  Yes, mockingbirds.

I've gotten used to the pair of doves following me around the house, glaring at me through various windows.  They must not be too concerned with building their new nest, or they have enlisted help.  Either way, I've learned to look forward to my own little bird paranoia everyday.

However, when it comes to nighttime, that is my time to relax and, dare i say it, sleep.  With 2 young kids, sleep is a magical place that recharges me and gets me ready for the next day of school schedules, homework and an episode of Elmo's Hood, formerly called Sesame Street.  When sleep occurs, I'm happy and patient-as-I-can-be mommy.  Without sleep...let's just say, I'm impatient, grumpy mommy with harmful thoughts directed at Elmo.

As I lie here trying to get rid of today's headache, a pair of mockingbirds are "talking" to each other.  If you aren't familiar with mockingbirds, they mimic sounds they hear in a repetitive cycle.  The ones in my backyard seem to cycle through:  "pretty bird," "patty-cake," an alarm clock and a few phone ringers.  Occasionally they even throw an actual bird sound in there.

Throughout the day, they are absolutely quiet.  I guess they are off gathering food or sleeping, because they were up all frigging night.  I'm lying here with Little Dude, who is also having trouble falling to sleep. He actually has his hands covering his ears, so I know I'm not overreacting...much.

Normally they are quiet when we lie down to sleep.  They allow us to fall asleep and slip into REM, then they strike.  About 1:30 in the morning they begin serenading each other.  This continues until about 4:30, which is about an hour before Military Dad has to wake up for work.  Instead of serenading each other, they could be "married" and having the same stupid argument over and over again, because she just won't let it rest.

This new bedtime arguing, may be a direct result of the doves.  I think they've enlisted the mockingbirds in their scheme.  I'm really hoping that when we move into our new house in a few weeks, that they won't follow us.  However, there is a very nice wooded section behind our property, so I'm doubtful.  Plus, I'm pretty sure these doves have connections.

For the next few hours I will be lying here dreaming up ways to make the mockingbirds be quiet.  I've thought about using fireworks similar to the movie "Steel Magnolias."  Tom Skerritt's character was responsible for clearing out birds from the trees before his daughter's wedding.  At one point, he uses fireworks to "scare" the birds.

I'm pretty sure my neighbors wouldn't appreciate fireworks going off at 1:30 in the morning, plus I'm pretty sure they are banned in San Diego County.  Not to mention, it hasn't rained in awhile and I don't want to be responsible for another wildfire here.  Our neighborhood mockingbirds are about to get a dose of jet spray on my 10 foot hose.

Spraying a hose with a limited range, in the dark, in the general direction of a bird that would probably be quiet the instant I step outside, doesn't sound that great either.  What am I to do?  It's just not in me to concede loss in anything.  My husband says I'm a bit too competitive.

I've now come to a point in my life where I feel it necessary to compete with a bird, oh sweet baby Buddha, I'm in trouble.