Fishing with the kiddos

I mentioned in a previous post that we enjoy watching the Wild Kratt's. The kids love the animated part where the Kratt brothers rescue animals from poachers who would use the animals in fashion, cooking and robots. Yeah, the last one confuses me a bit too.

Two episodes have managed to shape my children's minds in no way I could imagine. You may recall the earthworm episode that now has my daughter and I "rescuing" worms from certain death on warm sidewalks. The other episode is about Bass fishing. In the episode they use lures and practice catch and release. After watching this one episode, my kids felt they were now experience fishermen and wanted to go fishing.

For several months my  kids have wanted to go fishing at a lake on Camp Pendleton, Lake O'Neal. Unfortunately, when Military Dad and I had this bright idea, the lake was in the process of being drudged. This process pretty much messes up the lake for a couple of months, so we had to inform the kiddos, it just wasn't going to happen.

One weekend we had nothing planned, which in of itself is a weird concept. We asked the kids what they wanted to do and Princess mentioned fishing. It had been three months since the drudging was completed, so the lake should be back to normal. The plan was to eat a picnic, rent a small boat and enjoy watching the kids catch some big fish. (The lake happens to be stocked and is catch-and-release). We loaded up a small picnic and the Cars and Barbie fishing poles and set off.

When we arrived at Lake O'Neal, we sat down at the picnic tables and ate a picnic. Since I was wearing my beach-going flip-flops, I managed to get stung by a yellow jacket....on the arch of my foot. In the midst of tears, a lady, who happened to be a nurse, came over and removed the stinger. This whole time, my kids didn't stop eating, they had their priorities.

The wonderful nurse explained how she brought her grandson fishing and he was easily catching small fish right off the dock. MD and I figured since this was the kid's first time fishing (ever) we would try the dock first, before renting a boat. It turned out to be a great idea.

The nurse and her grandson were leaving so they left their worms with us and we headed down to the dock.When we pull that first night crawler out to attach to the hook, I get a good look at my children's faces. The looks on their faces were putting the hook, the worm and fishing together. Oh crap, now I remember both Wild Kratt's episodes and begin thinking of ways to explain myself.

Little Dude asks why we have to use worms. MD, not seeing either episode explains how the fish like to eat worms. Princess then chimes in about how we should use lures. MD has no idea what he walked into and I should probably help him. (I don't. I'm still thinking of ways to explain this so everything will be alright.)

Minutes of MD explaining the concept of fishing to the kids pass. Finally, MD and I have managed to bait the hooks and move on to casting the line. Little Dude gets his line in first and within seconds he already has "a bite." Princess' line goes in next and she starts getting "bites."

Little Dude's first catfish!

The catfish is about 4-5 inches.

Princess' first crappie!

Crappie is well, it's small.

Little Dude's second fish, Bluegill.

Now we are catching incredibly small fish as soon as we put the hook back in the water. Little Dude and Princess completely forget about the earthworms and get lost in catching fish. During the next 20 minutes, the fish are actually biting so fast, MD and I don't have time to take pictures!

Little Dude manages to catch a catfish and a Bluegill in 20 minutes. His hooks were swallowed so we had to almost surgically remove them to ensure the fish would survive. Princess managed to catch a catfish, 2 Bluegill and a Crappie in that 20 minutes.

We decide we have had a great time fishing and want to go out on a boat. I get this brilliant idea (it was actually one of my dumber ones), to rent a paddle boat. The dumb part was that the wind was blowing pretty well. I left out the whole part of actually having to power the boat by pedaling; I figured that was implied as a stupid idea. The only bright idea we had after renting the stupid boat was that we would pedal INTO the wind and float back towards the dock.

For the next 15 minutes, MD and I pedal, and pedal, and pedal....and pedal. I may have downplayed how much the wind was actually blowing, because we got about 50 feet from the dock. At this point, my legs are burning and I decide to call it "float time." We floated for about a minute before realizing the wind was blowing us away from the dock. MD and I decided at this point the boat ride was over and struggled to get the boat back to the dock.

During this painful experience, the kids are enjoying themselves and trying to get us to take the boat out further. They had no clue that MD and I just completely burned off both our lunch and breakfast for that day, and that we were desperately hoping the pain in our legs would go away enough to make the climb back up the dock, to the car.

I now understand why my parents took me out on a paddle boat once and then we never did that again. MD and I can now say "we did that" and never do it again. The day will come when they will have kids and say to themselves, "Remember that time when mom and dad took us out on one of those? We should do that, it was fun!" Then I hope MD and I are both there when they pedal that damn thing back to the dock and walk up with that look on their face that says, "Ah-ha, never again!"

I got skills!

I haven't figured out how to get the image to the correct size Blogger wants...evidently their "square image" is different than my idea of a square image. Grrrr. I hated geometry class!

So I share my artistic talents for today. I felt I needed a trademark, so-to-speak. Something that encompassed me and for my life.

So here is my sketch:

And now there are three....

In my last post I discussed the wonderful feelings that go along with being a military spouse as you get ready for deployment time. They suck, plain and simple. It's hard getting ready for your loved one to leave. The hardest part is the day of departure.

The day Military Dad has to leave, we go through our morning routine as usual. Kids are dressed and fed breakfast. During a few moments, I can tell Military Dad is about to break down, so I keep him and the kids busy with tiny distractions. I'm not sure why I do this. Part of me questions whether "protecting" the kids from seeing their father upset about leaving, is even a good thing. Yes, it would upset them, but would it be that bad? Wouldn't they want to know that this isn't easy for him? Wouldn't they want to know that leaving them is breaking his heart? So, I'm not entirely sure who I'm "protecting" at this point, MD, me or them?

At one point, he pulls me aside and says, "I don't know how you can be so strong?!"

Really? I'm going nutso on the inside, so now I'm confused as to how I look on the outside, because somehow I look like I have it all together. Yay?


We decided he would wait until the kids were both in school before he would start his trip. Fortunately, I guess, the kids didn't really react the way we thought they would. We were prepared for anguish, crying and having to tear kids off Daddy. Little Dude hugged him and went off to reading circle in preschool, without a tear or look back. Princess got attacked by all of her little friends at school; somehow, despite our genetics, she seems to be a "popular" child. Daddy barely got a hug good-bye, before she was pulled off in the other direction.

We were left rather empty after both kids. No drama at all. In the long run, I think that was the best way; however, when you are prepared for the worst, it kind of comes as a let down.

Everything is packed into the car, and one last check to make sure he has everything he needs...now it is finally that time. This is honestly the worst part in all of this. I have to break the hug, watch him get into the car and drive away. After this, it will actually seem easier because you get into a rhythm and days can drift by. However, the good-bye, right before, is awful.

Sitting here typing this it actually takes me back to two previous deployments and a multitude of underways. (Underways are short periods, usually 1 week up to 3 months). Watching him drive away was actually much easier than watching him deploy on a ship. Deploying on a ship takes HOURS. You may think that makes it easier, because you get to see him and say good-bye longer. It doesn't. It allows you MUCH more time to wallow in pain and self-pity. Plus there are several good-bye periods when they leave on the ship.

The first good-bye is pretty hard because it's the physical one. This is the hugging part, where you break the hug and watch him walk to the ship. Then you keep waving to each other, as he boards the ship. Now comes a period where he disappears for awhile. This is usually where the sailors go to their bunks/rooms and change into their uniforms. MD always wore his "whites" when he deployed.

If you are lucky, now you get to wave at your sailor for more time as they stand on the various decks available on the ship. If your sailor has any involvement in the steering (they call it driving, which is nuts-don't get me started on Navy terms or acronyms, that's an entirely different blog) or engineering sections, you may not get to see them, as they are rather important in the actual departing from the pier.

Now the engines start up, the ship blows its horn, and the lines (ropes) are thrown. This is when your heart leaps from that nice spot in your chest, up into your throat. The ship starts to actually pull away from the pier. This is when you look around and notice the difference between the first-timer spouses and the ones who have done this before. The first-timers aren't able to hide their tears; they are going between bawling and hysterics. The spouses who have been there, done that, are wiping away tears they allow to fall, underneath their sunglasses (yes, it's probably dark outside, but they don't care). Then they take those deep breaths and walk to their cars, usually dragging 2-3 kids.

First-timers, I'm not making fun of the water works, I was there and I waited until I couldn't see that stupid ship on the horizon, before I left. The only difference, is now I know how much easier it is to deal with stuff if I get onto a schedule. Also, if anyone tries to have a conversation with one of those "experienced" spouses, it will end badly. We may look all tough and composed, but if you try to talk to us about our spouse leaving, wow.....flood gate of emotion, snot and tears. We keep sane by the mantra: "out of sight, out of mind." Also, lots of wine.

It's been two days and I'm finally to the point of having a decent conversation with someone without crying. The sunglasses are still on, but hey, at least I'm not tearing up anymore.

Having a conversation with Little Dude's teacher nearly broke me when I picked him up that afternoon. I forgot to leave my sunglasses on! She asked how I was doing, which was awful (for me, not her-she was showing concern which any other day, I would appreciate)...I could answer yes/no questions, not talk about my feelings. I quickly put my sunglasses on and somehow managed to get through the rest of the conversation.

I have to get a handle on it, because I volunteer in Princess' class on Friday. If her class does that switch rooms thing, there will be a solid 4 minutes where she can ask me how things are going! So I will end here for now, so I can get immersed into my schedule.

Plus I think our wine fridge is running quite low....Trader Joe's here I come!

It's about to get real....

It's about to get real....depressing.

Yep, shore duty is coming to an end. For those non-military spouses, that means every once in awhile the military rewards us with 2-3 years where our spouses get to stay home and work somewhat normal hours. In other words no week to month underways or 6-9 month deployments. Our spouses actually get to have that "normal" workweek, where they go to work....and then they come home the same exact evening...at a decent time!!!

Cynicism aside, I have truly enjoyed the last four years. Yep, four years. We milked this thing for all it was worth! My husband was extremely lucky in this, normal shore tours are 2-3 years long. Now as I start my lists and checklists to make sure he has everything he needs, it gets hard not to stop and think about what I am actually doing.

I am gathering my husband's stuff and getting ready to send him packing for almost 8 months without a second thought. Denial is a wonderful tool to get you through some things. The problem is when denial lets you down for that split second, your mind takes off and sends you spiraling down this rabbit hole. This rabbit hole comes complete with two completely different sides, depending on where you bounce. You either land on the "feel sorry for me" side or the "I have no reason to complain" side. There is no falling straight down, like Alice does in "Alice in Wonderland."

What normally happens when you are packing away his uniforms or artwork from the kids, you stop and think, "Why the hell am I packing his stuff up so he can leave easier?" It isn't that you are resenting doing the work, it's asking yourself, "why do I have to send my husband away? and more importantly, why do I have to act like it doesn't bother me?!"

The making lists and checklists, the actual sorting and packing his things; this busy work helps keep me occupied and out of the rabbit hole. I find myself cleaning for no apparent reason, organizing random things that have already been organized (twice), almost to the point of exhaustion, in order to not think about what happens next week.

Then that one moment sneaks in and you stop the mindless work and you get to take that trip down the rabbit hole. You start looking around at your kids and their pictures, your husband's things, and wondering why you have to be the one that gives this up. Why do you and your kids have to deal with this when 95% of the population doesn't have to?

Then the tears come, which of course, you need to hide from your kids so you don't upset them. You need to be strong for everyone in this family. A lot rests on your shoulders, and even more will be placed on them as you become a single parent for several months. It's a huge load, it really is. You are now firmly on the pity-me side of the rabbit hole.

This side only lasts long enough for you to stop crying and think one thought, "Thankfully he isn't going into combat." With that single thought you are now firmly entrenched on the "I don't deserve to feel bad" side.

Now you are no longer worthy of feeling sorry for yourself, because your spouse is only going to school on the other coast for 7 months. You will be able to call him, email him and Skype him daily, if possible. Then you start thinking that even if he was being deployed he still wouldn't be in AS much danger as the soldiers or infantrymen going into combat. What the hell would you say to those spouses as you cry your tears of pity?!

The tears are gone and anger gets you through the rest of packing, cleaning, detailing your car, gardening, etc. It's awful, but it works. You never really get mental peace, but the crying stops, so you can be strong for those who need you to be strong for them.


I just needed to vent and let some people understand what military spouses go through, mentally. I can't imagine what the kids go through. I do know several "military brats" that grew up normal though, so I have hope. I also realize that their mothers or fathers probably went through the same stuff and did their best to shelter their kids. However, the thought of reading Princess' thoughts when Military Dad gets ready for deployments would probably undo me completely. Ignorance, truly is bliss sometimes.

Any military spouses out there reading this, I salute you with a glass of wine, "Let our trip down the rabbit hole be short, and let all our spouses come home early and safe!

Am I really that strange?

I haven't been feeling great for the last few days due to some new cootie the kids brought home, in order to test my immune system.

Therefore, I conned Military Dad (MD) into going to bed early tonight so I'd have company. It's hard to be alone when your sinuses are so plugged you sound like Darth Vader when he breathes. Plus, I imagine I'm making even more attractive noises as I try to clear my previously mentioned stuffed sinuses. (My father once, not so gently, compared the sound of me blowing my nose to that of a fog horn.)

I imagine I'm not anywhere near ravishing or acting lady like, however I'm sick, so I have an excuse.

MD is truly wonderful. He lies next to me, ignoring the strange assortment of noises coming out of my nose, in order to keep me company. What a wonderful man!

Out of nowhere, a moth flies steadily for my face, threatening to beat me up with its tiny, little wings..our worse yet, land on me! Now I am forced to take evasive action in order to defend myself...I slap the crap out of myself, the bed, sheets, the wall, etc. You get the point...it was war and I was fighting with honor as the snot runs down my face.

As World War III is happening, a thought occurs to me: MD is just lying next to me, not even looking up from his damn phone!!!

Am I really that strange that I can slap the crap out of myself for about a minute straight and get no reaction or concern?!

I'd like to believe that MD knows me that well, he realized what was going on, and thought I was handling myself with the grace and eloquence required.

Doubt it, but if he can sit by with no reaction, then I get to say I handled myself well.

You can learn a lot from someone's playlist!

If you truly want to understand a person, find their music selection. It doesn't matter the type, just find those mixed tapes, burnt CDs, or those mp3 playlists and give them a listen. Those personalized, hand-picked with delicate thought,  selections of music will tell you more about someone than anything you could ever ask them.

About a year ago Military Dad (MD) and I downloaded the Google Music app, which is awesome. It takes those hundreds of CDs you have taking up space and puts them out there in the wonderful web's space. In the process of downloading millions of MB, or whatever the techno term is, we have gotten rid of literally hundreds of CDs and their cases. We no longer fear the kids getting their sticky fingers on one of our cherished CDs in fear of scratching...or breaking. (You'd think virtually indestructible would mean lasting through an encounter with Little Dude, but it doesn't.)

During this upload I let my husband do most of the work, just like a good wife should. This meant that some of his CDs from before my time were uploaded, as were a few of mine. I caught a lot of hell for my love of Megadeth; but let me tell you, when you are playing "Doom" on the computer, Megadeath is the perfect soundtrack. Plus I also went through a horrible phase where I actually enjoyed listening to country. Not that old, country music (that MD grew up listening to) but evidently the new cross-over stuff.

So as the upload progressed we learned a lot about each other's musical tastes and how they changed throughout our past: before, during and after our marriage. There used to be a time when MD would put on any Counting Crows' album and I could be passed out, asleep before the first track was done. He found it insulting, as they are his favorite band. I on the other hand found that they had this lulling quality to their music that helped a high-stressed individual find some relaxation. (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.) However, as the years went by and my tolerance to the Counting Crows' music grew, I found that I actually love their music. (I do use it on my children though, it works wonderfully when the kiddos need to calm down a little.)

Almost 11 years have gone by, our musical taste has melded together and we enjoy the same things, most of the time. For the most part, our playlists are interchangeable.

Then one day I had the opportunity to actually listen to his entire workout playlist. As I have said before, I have to be tricked into exercise because I just don't enjoy working out. I've tried so many things, that I started to lose hope that I would ever find a way to get healthier.

(Insert that dun-dun-dun music here.) Then I found the recline bike at the YMCA. I can sit on my butt and pedal away. Since I don't have great knees, bike riding is supposedly preferable to my joints than running, walking, blah, blah, blah. I have an elliptical machine at home, however those machines you actually have to pay attention to what you are doing. Otherwise the stupid arm bars can pack a pretty good wallop or worse you can walk right off the platform. Either way, I enjoy losing focus and zoning out, so the recline bike is perfect. I get my exercise and a weird sort of meditation period.

One of these meditation/exercise occasions, I grew bored with the TV screen that is somehow built into this bike and started playing with the Google Music app on my phone. I knew my husband has good "workout" songs, with good solid beats, so I let it play. Normally, I only ride the bike for 30 minutes or 6 miles whichever comes last. However, that day I was feeling really good and kept pedaling.

Here I am, in my pedaling zone, spacing out, when my playlist just plays a song I was not expecting to be on my husband's playlist. For the sake of his embarrassment, I won't post the song. I will even go as far to argue, that once I got back on the bike after my sudden stop in pedaling, the song did have a great beat for working out. Even after people turned to stare at me and give me strange looks, I kept on laughing (probably louder than I thought, due to the headphones) and pedaling.

For the sake of my poor feet being caught in the pedals and people giving me looks, I think I will stick to my own playlists from now on. At least then, if I put my own weird song in, I will know it's coming. The sneaky part of me wants to add a few songs to his playlist, so he enjoys the same thing I endured. However, unlike him, I don't lift weights. I would feel horrible if he hurt himself because of some song I added. It would also be equally horrifying if somehow his headphone cord came loose and now he is blaring some song like, Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" in a room full of weight lifters. I doubt they could appreciate that the song has good, strong beats....gets you through recline biking like a champ!

If you truly want to learn more about your partner, then take a listen to their playlists. I would not recommend exercising without a preview first, just for health reasons.

Why the hatred?

I apologize for this post. I try very hard to keep this blog light and humorous. However after reading several social media sites and listening to people speak to each other, I'm really upset.

I'm not going to get into politics or religious beliefs, but I'm actually disgusted with our poor country.

After watching the election (before and after), I'm absolutely amazed with how people treat other human beings.

Whether you are happy or upset over who was or was not elected, is no excuse to post or say some of the things I've seen on social media sites..

What happened to the Golden Rule? How can you be the voice behind stopping kids from being bullied, when your own words and actions are hurtful?

Differences are supposed to be a good thing; that's what makes us stronger. The more ideas brought forward makes us stronger, better to defeat those who would do harm.

If we become a country where people are afraid to voice their ideas, we are no better than the countries that hate us.

People still try everything they can to come to our country due to the oppression they face in their homeland. Would you risk everything to come here to find out it's not that different? If this happens, we have truly lost our influence as a world power.


Please keep this in mind today and in the future: Your beliefs are YOURS, that is what makes you a special individual. Instead of trying to force others to believe what you believe, try listening and becoming educated about our differences.

Education is truly the most important weapon ever. Instead of trying to figure out who is right or wrong, why can't we sit down and have civilized conversations; we may actually learn something? We could actually find a middle ground that makes most everyone happy. Instead, we choose to label ourselves and further divide and alienate each other, in order to be right or better than others.

In the grand scheme of things, would you rather have people around you who support you, no matter what you believe and try to work together? Or would you rather be right (or think you are) and be completely alone?

Would you rather someone listen to your opinion and value you as an individual, or tell you that you are an idiot and yell at you, for no other reason than they believe something different?

Please be good to each other. Passion is a wonderful thing, however if you can't say or do something without being harmful: for the good of the country and the human race; just keep it to yourself!