My War on Hot Wheels, Legos and Barbie

I think I may actually have to admit defeat when it comes to my war on Hot Wheels,Legos and Barbie accessories. No matter how many times you ask/beg/scream for your kids to pick up ALL the pieces, there are always a few left. A few left out isn't a big deal as far as the clean house picture, is concerned. It is however, a big deal when those few pieces somehow end up being the ones you step on in the middle of the night...barefoot.

I have read several books related to the humorous nature of motherhood and several of them deal specifically with toys. A few moms seem to still be fighting the good fight, sometimes it involves a vacuum, but they seem to have a handle on things. Things meaning the war on toys, not exactly the WAY in which they are dealing with the toys themselves. 

Other moms seem to deal with reality a little better and have decided that it's better to admit defeat, than go crazy. They have yards overflowing with toys and their houses have piles of toys here and there.

I am somewhere in the middle of these two groups of women. I have several OCDs, one of which, is I like everything to be put away neatly in the place it is supposed to go. However, having two children has pretty much bludgeoned that OCD into submission. Now I am happy as long as the toys are in the "toy closet." (Out of sight, out of mind.) Every once in awhile, if I'm feeling anxious or stressed out, that is the first place I go to in order to organize something/anything. Many of you may be thinking, "wow, she may need help!" Yeah, well, ask my husband I'm doing MUCH better.

I've noticed that when you have only one child, it is much easier to keep up with them. You have more patience in which to instruct them on how to put away their toys or do general chores. Two kids, well...you have less patience and time to deal with things such as toys, cleaning your house, taking showers, you know, the little things. Fortunately, we stopped at two children, because if we had three, I am pretty sure the toy war would already be over...and I wouldn't be the winner.

However, last night as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed Legos, cars and barbie shoes randomly thrown around the house (even after the kids cleaned up). Usually I pick these items up and throw them in the toy closet, but last night came a turning point in the war. I actually looked at some of the toys and realized just how gruesome they were. So gruesome, in fact, that if someone were to break in to my house, I'm sure the toys would take them out.

I actually imagined someone breaking into my house and subsequently being attacked by random toys. I pictured them writhing on the ground in pain, my dogs hearing the noise would "attack" them, giving me enough time to get a bat and call the police. (Attack meaning one dog would lick them to death, another would just bark a lot).

I would then tell the police that the Hot Wheels cars next to the TV made him slip and fall, landing on the Legos mixed with Barbie shoes. These pieces are now embedded deeply into his skin, in crucially painful places. Word will spread of this spectacular event and I, for once, will be proud that I didn't clean my house!

Sadly, I smiled, turned off the lights and went to bed.


Early the next morning, I went downstairs to let the dogs outside and fell not once, but twice on those damn cars! After getting up I only had to dig out one Barbie shoe from my palm, so I considered myself lucky.

I guess the war isn't over yet...