Once upon a time...

As I mentioned before, MD likes to create his own stories to share with the kids. Last night we were blessed with another session of story time with Military Dad.

Goldilocks meets Snow White


So Goldilocks is running from the Three Bears (you know the house she broke into, stole food and broke all their furniture). Since she's running and looking behind her for the bears, she runs right smack into a tree. Grumpy was near and asked why she happened to run into a tree.


"I am running from bears!" Goldilocks replies.
"Yeah, we got bear problems. Why don't you come home with me and my brothers?" Grumpy replies.


Goldilocks liked to cook, however she wasn't very good at it. Evidently her favorite dish was acorn paste.


Goldilocks starts dating Bashful.This was really awkward for the other dwarves, since they all shared a room. Goldilocks decided she was only going to cook and clean for Bashful. The other dwarves got upset. Especially since Bashful was like Kuthrapali. (Yes, that's a Big Bang Theory reference, for the children).


One morning as they walked off to the mines, the other six dwarves started plotting with their pick axes and how to get rid of Bashful. While plotting, they run into Snow White running from the Wicked Witch of the West, or something. The dwarves decide to take Snow White home in case she wouldn't get along with Goldilocks.


Snow White loves to cook and clean for ALL the dwarves. 
MD also chooses this point to mention that Snow White gives the dwarves a little something, something on the side. (Um...eew! Fortunately the kiddos don't even ask about what that means. I'm hoping through our whacked parenting skills, that they don't already know what it means!)


The dwarves start talking about how Snow White is prettier than Goldilocks. Goldilocks gets upset and tries to fight Snow White. Snow White evidently knows how to fight and gives Goldilocks a beat down. (Um...why can't she just beat up the witch, then?!) Goldilocks gets scared and runs away. 


Evidently, Goldilocks has poor GPS skills, because she runs right back to the Bear's cabin, where they eat her. Snow White and the dwarves live happily ever after.




If you don't think that is messed up, you should read Military Dad's post on getting the Beast (Beauty & the Beast) into a relationship via a dating service. The entertainment value alone in him is worth the world to the kids and me.