Thursday, April 26, 2012

Morning sickness

Before any of those friends and family who know me get excited or nervous, no I'm not preggo.  My post yesterday about dry heaving brought back fond memories of dealing with morning sickness.  It wasn't funny then, but now that I look back, I'd laugh at a pregnant lady hoarking over the nearest trash can as her children stare at her in horror.  Don't get me wrong, I feel nothing but absolute empathy for this poor woman.  However, having gone through it twice, sometimes you just need to laugh at some of the absurd crap a woman's body has to deal with.
 
While being pregnant with my daughter, we had the joy of living in a house with 1 (ONE!!!) bathroom.  While this house was roomy and alright for a married couple, 2 cats and a dog, the bathroom seemed to be a last minute addition to the house.  This is a horrible idea. If at all possible at least one bathroom in the house should be designated entirely to a pregnant woman.  So now I had to figure out how to run into this closet-sized room, duck below the sink and come up to hit the toilet.  Later on, when I was rather round in shape, I had to enter the bathroom through the one side of the shower, slide the doors across, and get out the other side before I could use the toilet.  I wish I had pictures, that's how awful it was.

If you haven't heard or know already, pregnant women get this über sense of smell.  It probably dates back to caveman time when we had to smell predators or something.  Now it helps us identify someone that used the restroom hours ago, dirty diapers while they're happening, rotten food before opening the fridge, body odor on people who actually bathe, things like that.  Also, you get one (several if you're lucky cursed) trigger scent that has you immediately holding your mouth shut while you waddle quickly to the nearest vomit receptacle, only to dry heave for 10 minutes.

After I had my babygirl, I felt all that was worth it, so we decided to have another.  With my son, the day I found out I was preggo, I was hoarking.  It wasn't fair!  With "Princess" I had a few months of "yay, we're pregnant" before and a few months of "oh god, there's no more room, stop punching my bladder" to enjoy being pregnant.  Not with "Little Dude." 
This happened to also be the momentous occasion we decided to potty train Princess.  It took her a little while longer than it normal, because I think she was horrified by the process. 

"Mommy, I went poopy in the potty!"  "Princess, that is awesome, what a good job!"  Then I would lean over to help her clean up and then mommy would have to shove her aside to hoark.  She would just stare at me, then we would have to start all over the next day, because she was done with that!

Being in the Navy, we had moved a few times since the one bathroom house.  We now had a two bathroom establishment, fancy!  It was wonderful, until a Tropical Storm hit Virginia and flooded the complex's sewage tanks, which backed up into our ground floor bathtubs.

Horrible Fond memories aside, I can't help but feel pain when I see a green faced pregnant woman running around trying to figure out what to do.  However, in a few years, when the preggo hormones diminish, she can probably begin to laugh at it all.  If not, a few more years and some therapy should help, it did wonders for me!  :)

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