I am NOT a Navy Wife...okay, yes I am.

Before I had children, I was uncomfortable being labeled a "Navy Wife."  I'm not sure why it bothered me so much. Maybe it was because I'm introverted, I don't like groups or because I didn't like being instantly labeled before people met me.

During my husband's ROTC years, I was that career driven person who was independent, blah, blah. After he graduated, we move from the college ROTC Navy atmosphere to the "real" Navy in Norfolk, VA. He was previously enlisted before he picked up a Navy scholarship, so he knew what to expect.  I had no idea what I was in for, so I went along in my own lovely reality for awhile. 

The first time I set foot in a Military Treatment Facility (MTF), I was unprepared to say the least.  Filling out the forms were what shocked me the most.  I remember sitting there asking Military Dad what "spouse #" meant.  I thought they had found I was born in Utah and they were asking about the whole Mormon polygamy thing.  I was about to start yelling about being profiled, when he informed me on how most military marriages don't last and people tend to remarry a few times (3 was a spouse # option).  Being told in a document that my new marital bliss was doomed to fail was an awakening. 

Weeks went by and I did my best to deal with this situation.  Then Military Dad got the news he would be deploying for 6 months with only 3 months notice.  During those 3 months he worked 16 hour days (6 or 7 days a week) or was underway (out to sea for a few days) while they got the ship ready.  I'm an only child, so I was able to find a daily routine and keep myself sane.  This daily routine saved me during the actual deployment.  I was also very fortunate to have been working, so I was able to make a few wonderful and very supportive friends before he had to deploy.

I was also pregnant with Princess during this first deployment.  His command did their best to get him home for her birth, by sending him to a school in Rhode Island.  However, Princess would not be rushed, she came 6 days later, and by that time, he was stateside, but hundreds of miles away.

Deployment #2 came 6 months later.  At the end of that deployment, he transferred to a new ship that was just getting ready to leave, so Deployment #3 followed shortly afterwards. All in all, he made 3 deployments in less than 2 years.

The supportive friends I made, were also military families, and they all moved during Deployment #2 to their new duty stations.  That was the toughest one.  I was all alone in a strange state with no support system and a 6 month old little girl.  So deployment #3 resulted in me quitting my job and moving back home with my parents to get help raise Princess.

Seven months later, Princess and I moved back to Virginia when his ship returned. Shortly afterwards, we found out that Deployment #4 was looming.  Fortunately shore duty was close enough that he didn't have to go on that one.

Now, 4 years later,  we are nearing the end of our shore duty time and that sea duty experience is always in the back of my mind.  However, now I have 2 children who have to experience this.  Princess will know what's going on, but I'm not sure how she'll deal with it.  She was young enough that she probably doesn't remember the first times he had to leave.  Little Dude has had Daddy home his entire life, so I'm honestly scared to think about how he'll react.  Just for a second, a split second, I start to think how I'd react and the tears well up.  Then that feeling of having to take care of someone other than myself automatically kicks in and both that split second and the tears are gloriously gone.

This is when I realize with pride, that yes, I'm a Navy Wife.  We do what we have to, in order to keep the family functioning and healthy, including the deployed spouse and their extended family. This job requires you to become a "single" parent:  paying the bills, buying groceries, fixing the water heater, etc.  The job also requires you to maintain a certain decorum and not slap/yell at someone who cannot comprehend what you're going through when they say "Wow, I'd love it if my husband/wife left for a few months!"  (I beg everyone, please don't say this EVER to a military spouse, it is truly a thin thread we hang on to that holds us together.)

Now, I'm very happy to be labeled and put in the Navy Wife category.  It's definitely one of the craziest group of people I'd belong to!  (No seriously, it's a group of crazy people-who else would repeatedly do this crap with a smile?)  It takes a group of special people to become and stay military spouses.  A military spouse has to put their careers and other things on hold because the military job comes first.  They have a job with very large risks and very little reward, other than what we can create for ourselves.  It also takes a very special service member to appreciate what their spouse is doing for them while they are thousands of miles away doing their job.

So when you thank that service member, please take the time to also thank their spouses for their hard jobs too!