You're going down bookmarks!

A long time ago I used to dog-ear my books while reading. Then I met my husband and through years of guilty looks, crying, pleading and sometimes plain begging, I've seen the error of my ways. What is my reward?

A life of constant searching and frustration.

Before the kids came along, scraps of paper would lay around, just waiting to serve their purpose as a bookmark. (Airline tickets are still the best.) Occasionally we would even use a real bookmark, yes, a purchased bookmark. (The kind that are either laminated or have that fancy tassel thing.) In the bookmark world, life was good.

Princess comes along and decides her sole purpose is to pull the bookmarks out of books. It doesn't matter which book:   recipe, school, or fun; it's gone. I don't mean the bookmark is pulled out and set aside, I mean the thing is gone from Earth.

Little Dude comes along and decides he wants to be included in the bookmark fun. However, Little Dude being himself, he needs to add his own style. He does one of two things: he either takes the bookmark out, then randomly puts it back in a different spot in the book, or he brings the bookmark to you. I'm not sure what's worse: being in the middle of something and having Little Dude say, "Mommy, I brought you your bookmark," or sitting down to read and thinking, "I've already read this," or, "What did I miss, this doesn't make sense!"

Now that Princess is voraciously reading chapter books, her bookmark demon days seem to be behind her. However, now that I'm competing with her in the race for good bookmarks, she seems to have more rules about what can and cannot be used as an acceptable bookmark.

My grocery receipts, not entered in the checkbook ARE acceptable. Her bookmarks she made at school, NOT acceptable; they are to look at as gifts.
Magazine subscription inserts ARE acceptable. Paint swatch cards are NOT acceptable...I'm not sure why, I just think she likes to hoard them.

Now that a level of ground rules are set as what is acceptable, this doesn't stop the other bookmark demons in the house.

If you do manage to find that one, acceptable bookmark, you have to put it away for safe keeping. Any scrap of paper within reach, acceptable or not, is eaten in some capacity by our two dogs. Every dog, I have ever owned, likes to chew. It's been different tastes with each dog, however, the current two seem to enjoy paper and tissues.
I even had a cute ladybug bookmark that acted like a paperclip. It was made of plastic, so I assumed it would at least be safe from the dogs. Nope. I found it the other day in a horrific mess of mangled plastic.

A few things occur to me as I write this...

What doesn't have acceptability rules depending on the day?

Dog-earring the page.

What won't get randomly replaced on a whim or brought to me while I'm cooking?

Dog-earring the page.

What won't get eaten by the dogs?

You'd think I'd say dog-earring the page, but I won't rule out my dogs eating an entire book.

I'm taking a stand! No more will I stress out about whether Princess has found my secret bookmark hiding spot! No more will I collect random bits of paper that appear to be of bookmark quality (that also adhere to the rules)! No more will I be depressed on finding bits of chewed up paper, wondering whether that was MY bookmark...now I'll just be angry and yell at the dogs to stop chewing up paper!

Out of respect for all the other dog-ear fanatics, I will not do this to library books. All other books that I purchased will be dog-earred to my content. I'd do it on my Nook too, if it didn't save my progress so well.