Sunday, June 23, 2013

Deep Thought Gone Wrong

This started out being a short Deep Thought post, however it brought back memories I had long repressed. Due to the thoughts being so horrific, I feel the need to discuss them.

Does anyone else feel like they witnessed something obscene, when you see a guy running (towards you)...in short, shorts? (Higher than mid-thigh, for reference.)

I understand marathon runners needing shorter shorts due to chafing and comfort. I'm just saying I understand, but I don't like the visual effects that are part of it. 

That's where the post started, now I will bring you into a memory of a trip I took with my parents several years ago.

My parents and I took a two week vacation to Greece sometime after I graduated college. Since I love mythology and Greek/Roman architecture this was a dream vacation for me. On the mainland we toured Athens for a few days, before heading to one of the islands. Once we got to the island of Naxos, I tried my best to enjoy the beautiful beaches.

If you have been to European destinations, you realize they are much more relaxed with body image than the US. I'm not talking about just the lack of shaving on the ladies, either. On the beaches, there was nudity, plain and simple. This excited many of the guys in our group, until they realized that the "acceptable age range for nudity" group was either working or going to classes. Being the person I am, I felt that it was now my job, no, it was my duty, to point out any nakedness. I was only trying to ensure they enjoyed their trip too!

We would tour the island and usually stop for lunch at or near the beaches. I could spot nakedness from yards away, yes...I'm a pervert. I would casually mention, "full frontal, 2 o'clock" causing most of the guys in the group to stop and stare. The fun part was (for me) watching the guys take in the nudity....of a very large and hairy woman....or man! Bwah ha ha! The BEST part:  I did this for a week straight, several times daily, and they ALWAYS looked. ALWAYS!

An incident occurred where I was attacked by a sea urchin (I'll tell that story another time) and lost most of my gusto for this wonderful game. On one of the last few days, we took a tour of the island and ended up on a very secluded beach for lunch. I blame the pain in my foot for my momentary loss of intelligence. My dad mentions to me that a fit guy is running down the beach, towards us. I'm thinking Baywatch, what I got was the reason for several recurring nightmares and probably several therapy sessions.




There WAS a very fit guy running down the beach...



he was older.....



like 80.....



and he was running....



naked....



full-on, not a scrap of clothing covering his manly bits.....



as they (the manly bits) tossed themselves to and fro....



running....



towards me!



Needless to say, my father laughed for a long time. He probably still has a chuckle now and then at my expense. Yes, I probably deserved it. Did it teach me a lesson? Hell no, I'm just looking for a way to get even. However, since every time I see a guy running towards me, I have crystal clear and detailed flashbacks, I'm pretty sure there is no chance of payback on this one.

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